The Guilt of Needing Space as a Solo Mom

Leila Offner
Aug 26
2 min read

Let’s talk about something that no one warned me about when I became a mom.

The guilt. Not just any guilt—the solo mom guilt that creeps in every time you want a minute to yourself.

Like:

☕️ Wanting to drink your coffee alone in silence

🧖‍♀️ Wanting a weekend where no one touches your body

😶‍🌫️ Wanting to be alone, not because you’re angry—but because your soul is tired

Sound familiar? Let’s unpack that guilt, rewrite the narrative, and remind ourselves that needing space isn’t selfish—it’s sacred.

1. The Lie: “If I Really Loved My Kids, I Wouldn’t Need a Break”

This is one of those sneaky subconscious beliefs we carry, especially as solo moms. There’s this pressure to overcompensate because we’re “doing it alone.”

But here’s the truth:

You can love your child with your whole heart and still feel touched out, overstimulated, and in desperate need of solitude.

You’re not broken. You’re just human.

2. Reframe “Me Time” as Maintenance, Not Luxury

You wouldn’t expect your car to run without fuel. So why expect your body, mind, and nervous system to keep going without rest?

What if we flipped the script and said:

“Me time is how I stay a calm, loving mom”
“My kids benefit when I take care of myself”
“Rest isn’t optional, it’s essential”

You don’t need a weekend getaway to reset. Sometimes, 20 minutes with no noise is enough.

3. Take the Time You Can Get

You don’t need a nanny or a huge support system to carve out time. Try:

A hot shower while the kids are strapped into high chairs with snacks and music
Screen time with zero guilt so you can do your skincare
A walk around the block while they nap in the stroller

These tiny moments add up. You’re allowed to take them—without apologizing.

4. Let Your Kids See You Rest

We often say we want our kids to grow up knowing how to care for themselves… but are we modeling it?

Let them see you say, “I need a break.” Let them see you read, nap, drink tea. Let them know rest isn’t something to earn—it’s something you deserve.